"I remember Adam gave me this crappy piece of binder paper with a list of all these songs for me to learn and some had checks by them, some had stars, some were underlined but I already new how to play them so I threw that damn crappy crap-ass piece of dumb binder paper in the damn garbage."
"Even when I go see one of my favorite bands I start to get bored/tired/over it after an hour and a half. If they said, "Guess what! We'll be playing for 2 hours tonight!!", you'd see a Jade-shaped hole in the front door."
"I saw Billy Idol about 6 years ago getting out of limo and I yelled "Billy Idol!!" at him, in case maybe he forgot. He gave me a thumbs up."
"Yes, I'm a vegetarian, but not because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"I love your duck with all it's ducky goodness."
"And I will be your Guiding Light if you'll be my General Hospital."
The secret to AFI's awesomeness according to the Jade:"It's all in the wrist."
h yeah, and using different guitars for different feels in a song is definitely cool. Fender guitars lend themselves well to clean tone parts, they have a nice sparkly yet warm tone that'll make you want to pee in the sink.
"Can't the lemons and pancakes just get along?"
"So, what's the speed of dark anyway?"
Jade: Awwwww, man!!! Crap! I just dropped my favorite eyeliner! Jade: I just dropped my favorite earplugs on the floor, too. Interview dude: You have favorites? Jade:Yeah, I just started using them like an hour ago, and I really liked them, so now they're my favorites.
Jeebus! Those are great things to recieve! I'd be freakin' stoked to get a lovely juice box!! Try getting a walnut. I got a damn walnut one time and it sucked. Totally. And I said, "Hey, this damn walnut totally sucks"
Question:I love your humor! Can u give me some tips... there is this girl thats friends with my ex and she says she doesnt like him meanwhile she says she loves him... she is such an asshole that she says that. she deny's it all the time... and its getting me mad! What should i tell her?
Jade:You should say, "Why are you such a stupid dumb ugly? You said you didn't like him but meanwhile you're a dumb ugly because you totally love him!" and then she'll be all like, "That's pretty big talk for someone who eats poop!" and then you'll totally be all like, "More like doesn't eat poop!!"
Question:i was wondering if you and Davey ever fought over a mirror backstage or something, and if so who won? and who has used the most makeup on one single nite? thanks,Jay.
Jade:Actually, yes, that happens all the time. Finally, I was like, "That's it! It's time to settle this make-up contest once and for all, I challenge you to a make-out!" Wrong choice of words.
Question: Hey Jade. There is this football jock in my school who tries acting like all that. He called me gay today cuz I wore an AFI shirt.. Should I jump him after school or just hit him with a bat or do you recommand something else? You seem like the type of guy who got in his share of fights.
Jade:You should grab his butt. Ask him if he wants to make out with you or fight you and then do the opposite of what he says. The last thread in which someone wrote, "Mooove bitch, get out the way" disappeared before I could say:
BITCH! Watch out, watch out, watch out BITCH! Watch out, watch out, watch out, move Here I come, there I go UH OH! Don't jump bitch, move You see them headlights? You hear that fucking' crowd? Start that goddamn show, I'm comin' through Hit the stage and knock the girlies down I fuck the crowd up - that's what I do By the way, that's Mystikal. If I had wrote it, it would be far tighter.
Yeah, I had some embarrassing ones, Mr. Rad, Mr. Buff, Mr. Freakin Buff and Tan as Hell, BuffTan the Vegetarian, mostly stuff like that.
God, remember Tab cola? It was so nasty, possibly the worst soft drink ever, even worse than Crystal Pepsi. I'll always think of Tab as the beverage of choice for child molesters because I knew this creepy old man who drank it and he must have been a child molester because all old people are child molesters Yeah, I had some embarrassing ones, Mr. Rad, Mr. Buff, Mr. Freakin Buff and Tan as Hell, BuffTan the Vegetarian, mostly stuff like that
God, remember Tab cola? It was so nasty, possibly the worst soft drink ever, even worse than Crystal Pepsi. I'll always think of Tab as the beverage of choice for child molesters because I knew this creepy old man who drank it and he must have been a child molester because all old people are child molesters
I think most people in North Carolina listen to Hootie and the Blowfish. Last time we played there I was standing outside the club and this guy came up and said, "You guys are ok, but Hootie's from here and they're amazing!" And then he said, "They live right there!" while gesturing vaguely towards this dried up riverbed with some scraggly trees around it.
One day, when I was young, my Dad brought home a guitar. I was quite intrigued and went to pick it up but he said, "Son, unless you can wail on that thing like Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme or maybe Steve Vai when he was playing with David Lee Roth and he had the sweet double-necked guitar that was like two legs coming out of a heart, keep your damn hands off it!" And I never touched a guitar again. So to answer your question, yes, I answer the phone whether it rings or not.
Tell him to come check me out when I'm shredding some sweet fingertapping solos and then he'll be like, 'Power chords blah blah blah' and I'll hit the whammy bar and it'll sound like a plane crashing at an air show and then he'll try to say some other stuff like, 'Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda' and that's when I fire up the wah-wah pedal and it'll be like 'Wokka wokka wokka wo-wokka wokka' all up in his freakin' face
I think they should play us on BET.
Upon further review, I've realized that my last post was neither interesting or informative in any way. Here's what's REALLY going on:
We're getting super radly awesome close to being done. We finally finished backing vocals and the came out totally 100% neat. I made plenty of supercool faces while I was singing, like this one where I had my eyes all clenched tight and then I hit this high note and looked up to the sky and slowly raised my fist like Whitney Houston in "I Will Always Love You". Another time, I ate all the cheese bagels and Adam was mad.
I'll eat the hell out of a bagel, that's my job!
Did I say I had a Les Paul [that's a guitar]? Sorry, I meant Ru Paul.
We will hella make it down to San Diego. Hella.
Actually, a Rectifier and a Marshall will sound markedly different. Just adjust the sound to where YOU think it sounds good, that's the most important thing. Also, anyone who thinks I didn't play the solo in My Michelle should come to one of our soundchecks for the upcoming shows and I will show them that I can ollie higher than they can. p.s. i most hella did play it
I can see the problem right away, DON'T SUCK. Cease the sucking immediately. If you decide not to suck you'll be totally shredding all these major solos and all the chicks will be checking you out and all the guys will be hella jealous of your whammy bar. Most of what you heard about us isn't true, the rest is. Except we don't pee in the sink. And for those of you wondering, yes, I continue to roll tight like a perm...
I told him "I have no balls when it comes to talking to girls. I wish I were as big of a player as you. Any Advice?" This was his reply... "confidence, wit, charm, and make them laugh and then if they still won't go out with you, punch yourself repeatedly in the nuts while screaming at the top of your voice, they love that"
Well, there are some important books that would help you immensely if you were going for a sociology degree, such as:
The Archaeology of Knowledge by Michel Foucault
The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism by Max Weber
Das Kapital by Karl Marx
The Division of Labor in Society by Emile Durkheim
However, these are very involved works and not as much fun as watching the grass grow or staring at a cow.
I was sitting here without a shirt on, absentmindedly scratching my back with a pen for about five minutes and I just looked in the mirror and saw that I had drawn a nice mural on my back. It looks kind of like a map of Wyoming, with all the rivers and mountain ranges, or maybe a portrait of Bob Marley. Yes. Tablature
The best thing about Vegas is going out in the desert to try and dig up dead bodies. And blackjack. And playing shows. And the Pink Taco.
I haven't seen Tori Amos but I did see Tori Spelling from Beverly Hills 90210 one time. She was frightening.
You could be a hitman for the Scorpions, your job is to kill people and make me macaroni and cheese.
Jordan looks pretty tough, maybe he should hang out with my little brother Gibson. Perhaps you could call your cat Meow so it could say it's own name. Or how about Stupid Cat Get Out Of Here. That would really confuse it if you tried to call it over to you.
I totally agree with you, except for the part about the thing.
I hit on your girlfriend, I hit on Davey's wife, I gave your grandpa a sponge bath, I'm down for whatever!
I've never listened to that band but I used to annoy my brother when we were kids by pretending I had echolalia, which is a disease that causes people to repeat everything other people say.
Smith: You're stupid.
Me: You're stupid.
Smith: Shut up!
Me: Shut up!
Smith: I'm a dumb uglyhead. Me: You're a dumb uglyhead.
We'll come around Montreal but we won't actually come into the city. I doubt we'll go beyond just lurking in the bushes on the outskirts of town. I don't think the Montrealites have recovered from my yelling, "I am a grapefruit! Give me all your croissants!!" in French in the supermarket last time I was there.
You could hollow out a big pumpkin and wear it on your head for the entire week of your birthday. This will allow you to get in touch with your Halloween emotions.
AFireInside, to me, means these three other guys who drink all the soy milk backstage before I get a damn drop of it.
I still skate occasionally but last time I did, at our show in Hanford, I did a 360 frontside varial over our rolled-up banner and broke every damn bone in my body. Ok, I only broke one bone. Well, I didn't break any bones, but I could have!
Ninjas ARE TOTALLY SWEET, what with all the guitar solos and flipping out and totally chopping peoples heads off.
If your songs are already great then you don't need much help. My advice is to cram as many solos as possible into every part of every song, unless you're the singer or drummer or bass player, in which case my advice is to learn how to play guitar.
I remember that Manchester show. I was skating around backstage and I bailed on this candy bar someone had thrown on the ground. It wasn't even a decent candy bar like a Snickers or a Twix, it was one of those weird English candy bars, like the Big Turk.
Question: Have you seen me? anybody who cares to answer this please do, when your new album drops is dreamworks gonna you it like they did jimmy eat world?
Jade: I really tried to figure that question out but I think it's missing a crucial verb.
I'm not really feeling Tropsnal, it sounds like an ointment for jock itch. Your band should be called either Ripping Hammer or Starving Zombee.
I don't think they allow poor people to visit America.
Thursday are great band and a nice bunch of fellows as well as one of my favorite days of the week. I haven't had chocolate milk in Rice Krispies but I did just spill a whole glass of chocolate soy milk on my pants.
That doesn't sound like any Loose Change or Redemption 87 [Jade's previous bands] song, I think it's Enrique Iglesias.
Spiffy is a free-loading deadbeat kitty who sits around on my couch, watches TV all day, and eats all the Triscuits.
Dolly kicks hella butt. You should check out "Silver Dagger", that's the most hella butt-kicking Dolly Parton song around.
My favorite Final Fantasy is where I know all the answers and I totally get an A. Well, the Lizzle Pizzle Stizzle definitely has a shizzle mizzle but you can't forget about the Stizzle's bizzy hizzy.
Being a sociologist, which technically I am since I have a degree, is not too interesting, although it depends on which field you go into. If you're really thinking of majoring in it, most schools have decent Soc. programs but Berkeley has one of the best in the world. However, I'd recommend working at McDonalds. More fries, less statistics.
Jade: In Boise on the rancid tour I went to run up the wall and jump off of it but my foot went straight through instead and my leg was buried in the wall up to my knee
Adam: that was great
Jade: I tried to play a blazing solo to take people's mind off it but I don't think it worked
Adam: worked for me
I have a poorly done tribal armband that I got when I was 16, I love showing it to people because it totally sucks.
It's never too late to start playing an instrument. I just bought a harmonica, maybe we could start a really horrible band. We'll play guitar/harmonica screamo math rock and our name will be The Butterflys or Faery Dust, it's up to you. Our first album will be called, "You Hurt My Feelings". In other news, chords are a group of notes played simultaneously to create a harmonized sound, tablature is a system of musical notation for people who don't read music.
Just because I've had a few meaningless pattycake encounters does not make me a whore.